How to Cope When Someone Moves On Quickly

How to Cope When Someone Moves On Quickly

It can be hard to fathom how someone who is apparently so in love with someone in a relationship can then jump into another relationship seemingly straight away with no feelings of remorse or tact.

I see this happening a lot with ‘happy’ couples. One minute you think they’re going to last forever, and the next they are uploading pics of themselves with a new partner. This has also happened to my personally in my life, and yes I admit I have also been guilty of it.

My personal and professional opinion are pretty much the same in this respect, so I’m going to write from both sides of the coin.

First of all, just because they have moved on, doesn’t mean they are necessarily over you. Some people just don’t know how to be alone, so they try and fill the void you left by jumping into another relationship and getting that dopamine hit. This also distracts them from the pain they may be feeling, or they could just be trying to hurt you (because some people are shit and insecure). These kind of people can use love as a band-aid, using companionship as a way to avoid actually working on themselves.

Another reason they could’ve moved on quickly is because they had already mentally checked out of the relationship for months or even years before the fact. I know this happened in my marriage. I knew it was beyond repair two years before I left, but I kept going because I thought it would be better for the kids if I stayed. It wasn’t.

In these cases the person can be seen as cold and uncaring, and the person who was unaware of how dire the situation was (even if you did make it extremely clear and they did nothing to change it!) can be totally shocked by it all. The person who has already mentally checked out has had that time to grieve the relationship and has already thought of the next steps they are going to take.

If this has happened to you just know that most of the time it’s not you – it’s them. Relationships aren’t valued like they used to be and some people get bored and start chasing something else because they aren’t fulfilling themselves in the right way.

It’s also entirely possible that you are not the only victim here. Before you start feeling too sorry for yourself, ask yourself if there was ever time your ex was trying to talk to you or share their feelings and you didn’t listen? Or continued to do the wrong thing by them? It always pays to look in the mirror and try to see what you could have done to land yourself where you are.

In conclusion, just because they have moved on quickly doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you and doesn’t mean they’re happy. The best thing you can do is help yourself heal and give yourself the time you need to move on.

Bethany x

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