I have been called a lot of things in my life. I have had people say that I am vain, that I’ve had too many boyfriends, that I don’t make enough time for my family and friends, that I have turned my back on God and even that I do ‘too many things’! (Imagine being good at too many things! Criminal!)
Unfortunately, these have all been said by close family and friends. I am well aware that people talk behind my back, and it used to really bother me. When I realised that ALL PEOPLE DO THIS – it made things a lot easier for me.
The fact is, we all do it to some degree. We may not really notice it as bitching because it comes so naturally to just discuss our friends and family with others, and even though we love them and don’t think badly of them, some things we say we would never say to them in person.
I used to be consumed with finding out who said what about me and was determined to defend myself, draw my sword of justice and go in swinging like a warrior hell bent on setting the record straight. Now, I really don’t give a fuck.
As I got older, I realised that people just do this. They talk, they bitch. There’s literally nothing I could do to change it. If I said something to them and tried to defend myself, they would just talk about the fact that I am too combative behind my back. So I decided that as long as I was doing what I needed to do to be happy and survive this sometimes unforgiving whirlwind of a life – who cares what other people think?
If you have a strong sense of who you are, what is important to you and what you stand for, then you stick with that. If you are someone that struggles socially and needs down time, you take it. If you want to get a divorce because you’re unhappy and you’d rather die than stay in that marriage, you do that. If you want to take a selfie doing duck face and showing your cleavage, you do that. If you want to spend the weekend in bed instead of going to that family function because you are burnt out from a week of work, you do that. If you want to have a baby out of wedlock, you do that. If you have a hundred business ideas and you want to execute them ALL, you do that. If you want to swing from a chandelier covered in glitter, swigging from a bottle of wine and cry-singing to the backstreet boys all night – babe, YOU DO THAT.
I am trying to teach my almost teenage son this concept at the moment. If anyone ever teases him about something that we all know isn’t true, he gets SO FRUSTRATED and annoyed. He will keep on arguing the point, even when we are all laughing and telling him to relax and that we are just joking. You will never survive in life if you care that much about what other people say about you. You need to have the conviction and strength in yourself that no matter what anyone else says, you know where you are going, you know what you need to get through life and other peoples opinions really don’t matter at the end of the day.
You CAN cut family and friends off if they are making you feel like shit about yourself. You CAN do whatever you need to do to protect your space. Living to make other people ‘okay’ with your life is no way to live. Start living for yourself.
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