If you are in a place where you feel like you and your partner are headed for quitsville, there are a few things you can try before giving up completely. Sometimes if you feel like the effort is one-sided it can be extremely hard to see light at the end of the tunnel, but if your partner is willing to work with you to save the relationship – it can be done.
1. Remember That Every Relationship Hits Rough Patches
Relationships are hard! They will be hard with everyone, no matter the personality. Remember why you are in the relationship with your partner, what do you love about them? Write down all the things you love about each other and swap notes. It’s hard to be angry at someone when you’re reading about how much they love your big sexy bum!
2. Identify the Problem
A lot of the time, the little squabbles you may have are the result of a deeper problem that you are both not facing. There could be unresolved resentment that you are bottling up and haven’t addressed yet because you both don’t have the energy to go deeper into the ACTUAL problem. The big underlying problems have to be addressed and resolved, otherwise the petty little fights and resentment will grow and grow, and you’ll end up hating each other. You can do this by yourselves, or see a marriage counsellor to have an unbiased party help you navigate these very sensitive waters
3. Put Yourself In Your Partners Shoes
Most of us automatically dwell on how WE feel, but what about your partner? Put yourself in their shoes, listen to why they are upset and even if you don’t agree with how they feel – it’s how they feel. Understand that, show that you care and work towards helping them not to feel that way anymore.
4. Refocus on The Positive
It’s easy to get caught up in all the things your partner does that piss you off, but what about what they do right? Make a conscious effort to focus on what they do that makes you happy, not what makes you upset. You will be surprised how much control you actually have over your own feelings and how this changes your perception of your partner
5. Know When You’re Flogging A Dead Horse
It’s a horrible saying, but you need to know when to give up. If you are the only one trying, if the other person just isn’t interested in working with you to save the relationship, then you need to be mentally strong for yourself and walk away. It should be the absolute last resort, but sometimes you are both better off. There is no shame in divorce, it’s a very hard road but not one you can’t get through knowing you did your best
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