If you’re wondering whether or not your relationship is healthy, you just have to go by how you feel most of the time. If you’re feeling stressed, sad and always questioning it then you probably already know the answer. I’ve put together a list of the main components of a healthy relationship so you can see how yours measures up.
This is the most important part of any relationship. A couple that can’t communicate effectively is essentially doomed. You need to be able to share your feelings without judgement, starting an argument, offending them or receiving the silent treatment. A relationship is a mixture of two people with two different personalities, brains, morals and needs. You need to be able to meet in the middle and effectively work together so that both of your needs are met equally.
If there is a problem, it should be dealt with as you guys against the problem, not you against them. Any couple where you are trying to ‘win’ over the other and be ‘right’ is never going to give you happiness. A couple with good communication with rarely get to the point where they are yelling in an argument, and grudges will never last more than 24 hours. Basically, if you feel heard in your relationship, if you feel you can tell them anything without being blasted and you feel that you’re actually listened to, they are signs of a healthy relationship.
If you and your partner can pick up each others phone without defensiveness or stress, can go out without each other with no issues at all, tell each other everything without fear of judgement and the thought of them doing anything wrong by you barely crosses your mind because you feel so secure – you are in a healthy relationship. This is how it should be. I spent all my life jumping from shitty relationship to shitty relationship wondering if all people felt this unsafe and suspicious and thinking it was just who I was. When I got with my fiancé I realised that what I was experiencing wasn’t normal, and now I have mental energy for the productive things I love doing like writing! I’m not wasting precious mental resources on worrying about what my man is doing. It feels so goood.
Light-hearted joking around, giving each other shit (within boundaries), inside jokes and lots of laughter are a sign your relationship is in for the long haul. If you can’t experience joy in your relationship, muck around and feel like a kid in the best way, why would you wanna do it? Laughing together (especially during sex), releases important hormones that make you feel good and bond you together, it also makes sex better! Basically, if you can’t have a giggle at a fanny fart in an intimate moment – it’s probably not worth it.
That brings us to the SEX! Of course you can have amazing toxic, hate sex – everyone knows that, and make-up sex is pretty good too. But sex with someone you respect, who respects you, who you can have fun with and who you can communicate your needs with is a whole new level of awesome
If you are lucky enough to tick all of these boxes with your beau – that’s awesome. It takes work to have a successful long term relationship, but it’s totally worth it
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