Fear affects all of us, whether it is fear of failure, fear of success or even fear of dating. All of us have experienced fear at some point in our lives and it can be a real stumbling block that holds us back from being truly successful.
Don’t let fear hold you back from a possible love story. There are several ways to overcome fear of dating, here are my top 9:
1. SEPARATE REALITY FROM PERCEPTION
Ask yourself what is really going on, locate the facts and place them over your feelings. Are you really un-dateable? Are there really no good men out there? Be aware of the lies you tell yourself.
2. IDENTIFY THE TRIGGER
Figure out what it is in a situation that triggers you. Learning to identify it will help you learn to combat it. Is it something they say or do? Was there a bad date experience that you don’t want to re-live? Figure out why you feel the way you do about it.
3. KNOW WHERE FEAR LIVES IN YOUR BODY
A lot of times, fear takes over physically. It affects different people different ways. Identify if/how it affects your physical body and do the work to take care of your body. Ex: if you hold stress in your back, you can learn stretches, foam rolling, etc. to work through the pain.
4. PRACTICE GRATITUDE AND POSTIVITY
Everyday, list out 1-3 things you are thankful for, and 3 reasons why you are amazing to date. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, gratitude helps shift the mind into a positive light, which over time, can help you overcome your fear of dating.
5. LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE
Monitor your inner conversations. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Speak positively to yourself and remind yourself of your strengths. More importantly, listen to your instincts. If you sense danger and you don’t know why – steer clear. This doesn’t mean you have to be fearful of everyone though, there are good ones out there I promise!
6. CREATE A NEW ASSOCIATION
Remind yourself that the feeling and the moment will pass. Focus on the positive outcome of the situation, rather than the scary in-between. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are worthy of being partnered, and take the plunge! The more times you date, the easier it will be.
7. LOOK AT THE GLASS HALF FULL
Perception is a very powerful thing, and how you feel about your situation dictates how you respond. So think positively and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of success. This won’t happen overnight; practice with just one thought. What is one recurring negative/fearful thought about dating that you have? Work on reversing this one thought. Over time, this will become a habit.
8. PRACTICE BREATHING EXERCISES
Breathing helps center your body; when you stop breathing, your heart stops beating. You can do a grounding exercise, or even just take 5 deep, long breaths at any point to calm and center yourself. It is best to start your day with this, but feel free to practice all day long.
9. CREATE A SAFE SPACE
When you feel safe and secure, there is no room for fear. Find somewhere safe you can retreat to when ill feelings begin- whether this is a real place such as your bedroom, a positive mantra or a place in your mind such as the beach. This sense of comfort will soothe you and allow you to face your fear.
Please keep in mind, these are just 9 strategies, not everything works for everyone. But this is a place to start. Start implementing these techniques into your life and don’t let fear hold you back from a beautiful relationship this year!
Want me to answer your love, sex and dating questions? Join My Facebook Group HERE
To get my articles straight to your inbox, sign up below (I never send you bullshit junk mail, promise!)‘