Feeling sexy after childbirth

Childbirth is amazing. No matter how it happens, it’s a huge life event, and it changes you and your body in more ways than you could ever imagine.

I know when I had my babies I was really self conscious and worried about what would come afterwards in the bedroom. I had this big floppy belly, humongous veiny and sore boobs and I felt like my vag was just this big gaping hole, a monstrous dark, damp cavern that would echo back to you if you yelled into it……. “COOO-WEEEE WEE WEE WEE…” – No wonder I wasn’t in the mood!

The truth is, it’s totally normal to wonder if you’ll ever have sex again. You’re tired and feel gross all the time, you have a little parasite hanging off your nips 24/7 and all you want to do is eat and sit down (and even that is painful because of the giant haemorrhoid that is threatening to take over your entire couch)

Doctors recommend waiting 4-6 weeks for your body to heal before attempting sex. This gives you some time while you start to come to terms with all the changes that are happening with you and for you to be ready. There are a few worries that women come to me about after having a baby – myths – and I am here to quell these fears

MYTH 1 – TO HIM, SEX IS NOW GOING TO FEEL LIKE HE’S DOING IT WITH A GUMBOOT FILLED WITH WATER

The vagina is a wonderful thing. It may feel huge now, but I assure you that it is a muscle that you can slowly and easily work back into shape with some good ol’ kegels. Men who say it stretches and feels different are 1. Rude and 2. Probably small…not your problem!

MYTH 2 – HE’LL THINK MY BODY IS GROSS…HELL, EVEN I THINK MY BODY IS GROSS

It’s totally normal to feel weird about your body, I remember my hips feeling and looking a lot wider and it took a while for me to get used to it. Stretch marks, fat and loose skin can all have you feeling..bleugh. Just remember that your body has done a beautiful and incredible thing, and it’s the price we pay for our gorgeous bubbas.

It does take time to get back to the body you had before, although it will never be the same. Until it gets to a stage where you are comfortable, if you want to enjoy sex without worrying about what he’s thinking then I suggest getting some lingerie that covers your problem areas (for me these were little waspies and garters that covered my lower belly and sexy bras). That will take care of your feelings, and as for him, GIRL – honestly, he is just happy to be involved! Guys don’t care about the jiggly bits, they only focus on what they find sexy. They are very good at focusing on what they enjoy and ignoring everything else, you should know this by now 🙂

MYTH 3 – I WILL NEVER WANT TO HAVE SEX AGAIN, I’LL BE DRY AS THE SAHARA FOREVER

Breastfeeding can cause vaginal dryness, and tiredness, stress, body changes and a screaming little baby demon don’t make for a romantic atmosphere. Do not fret, you will get your mojo back eventually. Don’t rush yourself, and your partner should not rush you either. Spend time together doing couple things, and try and get some time to just cuddle and kiss and talk.

And finally, look after yourself. Eat well, sleep when the baby sleeps and don’t you DARE feel guilty for not wanting sex right now. Give yourself a break mama x

Photo by Lisa on Pexels.com

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